This is my healing journal.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


It's been two weeks since Bert was hired at Charlie's Pub and Grill. His first week, he only worked three days, only because we had been schedule to perform on Friday at a church in Union City for a substantial sum, and there was no way he was willing to cancel the show in order for him to work, though the cook there wanted him to work that day originally. Bert made it clear that we had the performance to do, and he also made sure they knew hew was uncomfortable working there on their busiest day of the week after only three days of work.

Last week, he worked one day more, only because they were closed for the Fourth of July weekend. That was fine for us, as it enabled us to go to the Air show. (I'll get back to the air show in a bit, as I have something to share from that.)

Yesterday, day two of week three, Bert was asked by the owner if he was ready to move over to the other restaurant he is buying to work in the mornings. He will work a mix of days between the two restaurants, and while I have my misgivings about it, I'm seeing a much happier Bert than I've seen in years. He's been cultivating a positive mental attitude, which is great. He was telling me the outline of a schedule he hoped they would give him. I told him to go into the talk with the owner with that schedule outline in mind and I told him to not back down from the schedule outline he wanted.

He told me that the owner wants to pay im cash for the days that he works at the other restaurant, (something about too many employees on the books there). Again, I'm not sure that is a good thing, as that would mean he would have to withold taxes on his own and send them in at the end of the quarter or the end of the eyar. Plus, I think that would in a sense make him a contractual employee, which legally the owner of the restaurant cannot do, as he had been originally hired as an employee.

While my husband is sailing through the adjustments for his work without much in the way of fuss, I'm having problems at work. I'm not having the amount of work I'm used to, and that has a lot to do with regulars canceling appointments for various reasons. One of my clients has canceled due to econmic problems of his own making. But, the others have all had problems crop up with family or work. It's not that it's happening that bothers me. It's that it's happening all at once. I'm having to believe that it's all going to work out and I'll have a new crop of regulars and that some of the older ones will come back. But, there are times when I find myself asking why it is I have to go through this at the same time that Bert needs me to be strong for him.

Fortunately, it's a beautiful sunny day as I write this, and I can feel the sun shining through my open window. That causes me to believe that everything is going to be just fine.

Watching the Thunderbirdz fly, I was reminded that this is a time of adjustments for so many people. Here wee were, watching men and women sacrificing everything for their country and flying to express to us the dedication they have for the freedoms we share in. I cannot imagine the families of service people's mixture of pride and fear they have for their children, their loved ones. The Thunderbirds were the last to fly. Yet, every military team there and every vintage military aircraft team dedicated a pass to the fighting men and women in Iraq and elsewhere.

It's strange to think how we all feel our adjustments are so much bigger than everyone else's. Yet, we all have the choice to either fly like majestic planes or eagles, or to crash land, giving way to our fears. I choose to fly. It is my destiny to do so.


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