This is my healing journal.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Believe in myself

Maybe that sounds selfish to believe in myself. But, I'm finding more and more that if I believe it can happen, it will. It's truly wonderful, as I work in essential oils, to go back and re-learn the lessons I learned as a teen, when I relied on myself so much more than I realized even then.

I remember running track my freshman year at MSB. Often were the days whe I would say to myself, "I will run faster. I will achieve what I'm supposed to." When I talked to myself that way, I did run faster. That's why I was amazed when I won the award for most dedicated in track that year. But, I should not have been, because I had given myself those pep talks to keep me going.

I remember when I was a junior in high school, and I was participating in a madrigal dinner playing in an ensemble with one other recorder player, a violinist, a guy on an oboe and a girl on cello and another on the harpsichord. I came down with the flu and was puking one half hour before Mom was supposed to take me to the concert. She said to me, "If you want to stay home..." And I looked at her, like "Are you nuts? I didn't learn all this music not to perform it", and we went.

I remember another time, when I was in the year where I had been held back. My Mom was coming back from a trip to Arizona on the night I wanted to attend a concert that several of my friends were in. I called one of them, and she called to tell me that she would pick me up. I decided that if I was going to go to the concert, I needed to prove to my Mom that she would be taken care of. I baked her some chicken, made a salad, left a note with the key and left. Mom bragged about that for the rest of her life. She told me my Aunt was furious with me for doing that to Mom. But, Mom thought it was the greatest thing I could have done.

While my friends are nervous about how things are going with the economy, I find it easy to say, "I will exceed my expectations and make what I need to for this month." Or I find that if I've had a low month, it's because I have either not said the above to myself, or I'm putting energy into other ares of my life.

It's not just a belief in yourself that causes one to realize the positive. It's also a belief that all is going to be well, in spite of the things around us. My husband is so good at not complaining about how horrible the gas prices are, and it's amazing to watch him pay what he needs to, comment on it in passing and then go on about his day as if it doesn't bother him. Oftentimes, by not complaining, he's amazed at how the car will exceed his expectations and actually go a few miles more than he thought it would on that particular tank of fuel.

Tom, you are an inspiration as well. How many times have I heard you talk about not giving up, believeing that you can persist in spite of obstacles in your path? And how many times have I heard you give the same piece of advice to others, especially when we were in the same school? I remember when you did not get the presidency of our class in eighth grade, and while you and I as the seventh grade president fought to actually have a re-election and lost, you persisted and then ran the next year and achieved your goal. You pushed yourself and while you had the support of coaches, you relied on you more than anyone else.

I'm reminded of the countless others I've known who persisted, believing in themselves enough that they were able to achieve great goals for themselves. And, these people were not celebrities. They were just normal everyday people like you and me.

I have to admit, I didn't always believe in myself enough to help myself along. Often, negative attitudes got in my way, causing me to slip and fall. But, as I work each day in the profession I'm in, I realize, If I don't believe in myself enough, I could not be a good healer. So, every day, I wake up now and tell God how beutiful the day is, and then say, "I'm believeing that you will bestow blessings upon this day. I'm believing I will do my part to realize those blessings."

May each one of you who read this, realize that it's only in following your heart that you can begin to believe, hope and feel the power of the healing you so richly deserve. Take the time to say, "I believe in myself."


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