This is my healing journal.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Grief I can't even begin to imagine

I received an Email from a client of mine, telling me her father had passed away. She is the oldest child in her family. She had come to this country fron France to marry her husband.

When I called her yesterday, my heart broke for her. Here she had been to France earlier to take care of her mother. She had flown back here to help her husband with some stuff, only to be on a plane back to France three days later after the death of her mother. Now, five months later, her father is gone. She can't even fly home. Her credit cards are maxed out from the last trip. They had also had to take out a loan to cover cost as well. So, here she is, managing phone calls since Sunday from her home here to France to plan the funeral of her father.

I can't even begin to fathom how that must feel. How does one deal with death from so far away? Sure, she has her husband and her friends here. But, she can't even be there to comfort her sister. I know what it's like not to have much physical contact with my family, as we're all scattered to the four winds. But, I had my friends physically nearby, and some though not physically close were closer in miles than my client is to her family. How does one begin to deal with grief from so great a distance? I'm not so sure I have a straight answer to that question.

When I told her that I was willing to offer her a free massage, she told me that she could not possibly take me up on that. She kept saying that she didn't deserve the kindness of those who were reaching out to her, because she was finding it hard to accept it, while in the midst of planning her father's funeral. So hard.


  • At April 24, 2008 at 10:58 AM , Blogger Dawn said...

    What a difficult situation. I know sometimes that airlines will give you a special discount on the fare for grievances. But, you have to have the money to pay for it.

    I am so sorry for your friend. I will be thinking of her.


  • At April 24, 2008 at 2:41 PM , Blogger Ryan said...

    Gosh, it really is hard.
    It seems like everything is falling apart at once.
    I think you did the best you could do but man, sometimes you wish you could do a lot more.
    I'll be praying for her and her family.

  • At April 30, 2008 at 6:26 PM , Blogger Tom C said...

    Tell her the massage is the way you hug.

  • At May 1, 2008 at 11:28 AM , Blogger Healing Song said...

    Thanks Dawn. Somehow, I never received your comment response in my Email. So, I hope Suzanne will tell you that.

    Tom, is everything okay? It's been on my mind to call you and ask you that. I haven't heard from you in a while. You know I told her that the massage was my way of helping. Think I'll let her know it's there when she needs it.

  • At May 5, 2008 at 3:15 PM , Blogger Suzanne R said...

    Oh, Bea, I was remiss and didn't visit your blog after you posted this entry. I just noticed it today.

    My heart goes out to your friend. I don't know how a person could handle so many losses at once, let alone having to plan the funeral from a distance of one of the loved ones who has passed away and not being able to make it to that funeral. Prayers are going up for her. (I think my sentence structure is poor here -- sorry!)


  • At May 5, 2008 at 9:11 PM , Blogger Healing Song said...

    Thanks to everyone for their prayers for my client. I will see her on Friday and will let you know how she is doing.

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