This is my healing journal.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Orphaned at forty-five

On Saturday, I turn forty-five years old. But, it doesn't feel right. This is the first year without both my parents. My father left this world nine years ago. However, Mom was always there to call me or send me a birthday card, until this year.

This year, nothing feels right. Mom's gone. Sure, we've been able to do some things with the life insurance money like get some home repairs done and buy our new car. However, everyone in my family is fighting over the estate. Ebba isn't well. So, she's resigning as trustee. She's suggested that Sandy and Chrissy take over managing the estate. However, the attorney seems to think Nels would be a better choice. But, it seems Nels has either borrowed from or owes the estate money for some reason already. Everyone is blinded by Mom's colection of Mexican masks, the house and everything in it. But, if we continue not to settle on a date to clean out the house and for a guy to come and apraise the masks, we'll lose it all.

I have a feeling that I will be called upon to negotiate the date of the house cleaning, etc. But, I don't want it. I want to be a little girl again, who felt secure in the love of her family, no matter how mixed up we were. There's so much greed and hatred now, especially from my sister Chrissy, and no one wants to make things right with my brother Bob, (the one Mom had not spoken with for the last years of her live). I'm not enjoying my first birthday of orphanhood.


  • At May 1, 2008 at 3:34 PM , Blogger Dawn said...

    I have both of my parents living. I am sorry the about the situation you are in now. I hope the resolution turns out in everybody's involvement.


  • At May 4, 2008 at 2:05 PM , Blogger Suzanne R said...

    As you know, I relate only too well to your being orphaned, although you are 15 years younger than I am. So far, no problems have come up among us siblings but Mom's house hasn't sold yet and I don't know what will happen when it does. There are a lot of unknowns there. You are in my thoughts and in my heart due to this situation, and I will be praying for you, that it will be resolved all right. It's difficult enough to grieve without such behavior on the part of one's brothers and sisters.

    Hugs and love!

  • At May 5, 2008 at 9:18 PM , Blogger Healing Song said...

    Thanks to you both. That really means a lot.

  • At May 11, 2009 at 6:35 AM , Blogger kim said...

    bea, im sure you will remeber me as wer were once related...i am kim booker and your brother was married to my mother...i recently came across some info about your family and looked you up. it is remarkable what memories i have of you. i am sorry to hear of your loss though i admit i read both obituaries some time ago. i have talked about your family many times over many years and how wonderful and talented each of you are but my memories of you seem to bring the smiles.. i have talked of our visits to the island and listening to you play the piano. i saw a post that you have begun to sell the estate and i will be attending since i regret that have none of the sketches or beatiful pottery pieces that i have tried to tell people about. i hope to obtain a small piece(s) for my own memories to hold and adore. so i will be going to triola sale in june. in the mean time i hope to hear from you for nothing more than a heartfelt hello. my thoughts have been with you for many years (divorce can sure take alot of things away from people dont you think). till later..my thoughts and prayers that all of you get peace.
    love kimmy


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