This is my healing journal.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is only two days away. Yet, this year has been a year of lots of blessings, and yet...

When I think about my husband losing his job and then everything we have endured since, I'm amazed that I can still find it in my heart to do what I can for others. I know that only can be from the Grace of God, nothing else.

At the hearing Vista Grande Villa felt Bert needed to have to stop his unemployment benefits, all matter of accusations were made aginst him. While there are those who feel Bert should fight it, I don't happen to be one of them. Sitting there, listening to what people had to say about him, my heart broke. I realize there are those who probably think I'm being a coward by suggesting that my husband not fight it. But, I watched him walk out of the hearing room, barely able to stand, because it had taken him every inch of courage to be calm, I realized that if he won, it would have to be by the Grace of God. Yet, I knew God had a purposed in that room, though I was not sure of what that purpose was. I'm still not. But, God is.

Bert has been denied unemployment and has thirty days to appeal it. But, I'm concerned that if he did fight it, he would lose more than he has. I'm not sure the self-respect he had never truly felt until recently would still be there. I'm not sure his faith in Christ would be the same should he fight this. It could mean we will have to pay it back. But, I'm believing that whatever MESC's decision, we will be okay. For that matter, I'm not so sure it would be good for me to fight this again.

I'm finding that each day since Saturday, I wake up with the attitude of reaching out to be a blessing to those around something I have always felt to be important. Yet, I have not always acted on it. If we don't tithe our blessings, or love and our God given grace, then how do we expect God to pay us back fully?

On Sunday morning, a woman sat next to us in Sunday School, afraid that she might not find some support in our church. She said that she was not sure why she felt it necessary to sit with us and to reach out for support. I told her that I would love to pray with her and spend some time with her. God used her to bless us with a book Bert wanted and a gift certificate for me to purchase another book for myself. Not sure what I will purchase, though I have some ideas.

This morning, I called a client of mine who meant something to me to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. He appologized to me for not coming for appointments, since he has been having some trouble with his son's spending cutting into his own. It was a blessing to talk to him.''After that, I was sitting in my office reading my Daily Bread when the man came to my door who was plowing the snow that had fallen outside. He told me that he remembered who I was and asked if it was me who had written "Peace Be Still". My original title for that song is "The Boat Song". He said that he had enjoyed hearing me singing when I came with Kelly to the cofeehouse where we played. This confirmed in me that I am doing what I can for God and that he will make sure I receive payment for such, whether it be financially or spiritually.

As we approach this Thanksgiving, we aare in one of the economically poor times all over the world. We should realize that the blessings we can bring to others will bring peace to a troubled heart, maybe more than one. Let us remember that it is important for us to raise the song of harvest home in our hearts and give to others what we can from our store of blessings, just like the Pilgrims and Native Americans did with and for each other.

Happy Thanksgiving.


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