This is my healing journal.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is only two days away. Yet, this year has been a year of lots of blessings, and yet...

When I think about my husband losing his job and then everything we have endured since, I'm amazed that I can still find it in my heart to do what I can for others. I know that only can be from the Grace of God, nothing else.

At the hearing Vista Grande Villa felt Bert needed to have to stop his unemployment benefits, all matter of accusations were made aginst him. While there are those who feel Bert should fight it, I don't happen to be one of them. Sitting there, listening to what people had to say about him, my heart broke. I realize there are those who probably think I'm being a coward by suggesting that my husband not fight it. But, I watched him walk out of the hearing room, barely able to stand, because it had taken him every inch of courage to be calm, I realized that if he won, it would have to be by the Grace of God. Yet, I knew God had a purposed in that room, though I was not sure of what that purpose was. I'm still not. But, God is.

Bert has been denied unemployment and has thirty days to appeal it. But, I'm concerned that if he did fight it, he would lose more than he has. I'm not sure the self-respect he had never truly felt until recently would still be there. I'm not sure his faith in Christ would be the same should he fight this. It could mean we will have to pay it back. But, I'm believing that whatever MESC's decision, we will be okay. For that matter, I'm not so sure it would be good for me to fight this again.

I'm finding that each day since Saturday, I wake up with the attitude of reaching out to be a blessing to those around something I have always felt to be important. Yet, I have not always acted on it. If we don't tithe our blessings, or love and our God given grace, then how do we expect God to pay us back fully?

On Sunday morning, a woman sat next to us in Sunday School, afraid that she might not find some support in our church. She said that she was not sure why she felt it necessary to sit with us and to reach out for support. I told her that I would love to pray with her and spend some time with her. God used her to bless us with a book Bert wanted and a gift certificate for me to purchase another book for myself. Not sure what I will purchase, though I have some ideas.

This morning, I called a client of mine who meant something to me to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. He appologized to me for not coming for appointments, since he has been having some trouble with his son's spending cutting into his own. It was a blessing to talk to him.''After that, I was sitting in my office reading my Daily Bread when the man came to my door who was plowing the snow that had fallen outside. He told me that he remembered who I was and asked if it was me who had written "Peace Be Still". My original title for that song is "The Boat Song". He said that he had enjoyed hearing me singing when I came with Kelly to the cofeehouse where we played. This confirmed in me that I am doing what I can for God and that he will make sure I receive payment for such, whether it be financially or spiritually.

As we approach this Thanksgiving, we aare in one of the economically poor times all over the world. We should realize that the blessings we can bring to others will bring peace to a troubled heart, maybe more than one. Let us remember that it is important for us to raise the song of harvest home in our hearts and give to others what we can from our store of blessings, just like the Pilgrims and Native Americans did with and for each other.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

More on Bert and other stuff

Now that the piano is moved here into the house, I am enjoying sitting at it and playing songs whenever I can.

It's hard to believe that I've had a blog for nearly a year. The last couple of months, I have not posted much. But, it has not been because I don't want to. Life has gotten in the way.

I have managed to keep busy on the days that I've worked at the office. I ahve not had less than two massages a day, each day that I've worked accept for a couple of days here and there. I'm grateful to have my massage chair, even though I don't use it every day. I'll go in spurts where I'll have a lot of appointments that require it and then have long dry spells where I'll only have massages that require the table.

Bert is still working at Charlie's Pub and Grill. However, the guy who hired him is gone. They fired him on Saturday. The blessing of that is that Bert all of as sudden has more hours.

Next week, unless things work out differently, he will have to appear before an arbitrator at Michigan Works for a re-determination hearing. Apparently, Vista Grande Villa filed for a hearing and they got it. He's worried about it, though the advocate he found on Monday and the lawyers he talked to said that there is nothing to worry about.

The other day, I actually asked a friend if I was losing my mind, because I am not worried about how things will go. He told me that no, I don't have to worry.

I thank God that all is well.

We enjoyed turkey dinner this afternoonand as I ate, I found myself thinking how we were celebrating Thanksgiving early. I am so thankful that God is watching over both of us and our cats.

Some would say we don't have a lot to be thankful for, since the election did not go the way of the conservative vobe. But, we can be thankful for the roof over our heads, the blessings we experience in just living out each day.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A day of mourning

Well, it looks like our country has become a nation of hypocrites and blind guides.

I remember talking with one of my friends who is an African American anda driver for our local transportation agency.. This man is a conservative and a Christian. When I heard him praising Mr. Obamma, my blood ran cold. I asked him if he realized what he was saying, that he would be leading other Christians he comes in contact with astray by his lauding the praises of someone who is a murderer of the unborn, a supporter of the pro homosexual agenda, oh and a supporter of a universal health care/socialistic medicine agenda. His response was that he felt he would do better than anyone who would follow Bush's lead from the past eight years.

This is not the first person I spoke to who esspoused such views. It's also not the first former leadership position person from a church that I heard say such things.

You say you follow the cross of Christ? Well, how can you say you're pro life, yet vote for someone who would insist on socialized abortions? Oh, and you helped support a proposal for the harvesting of embryonic stem cells here in Michigan, which tells me you're not as pro life as you claim to be. Away from me you hypocrites!

You say you're antihomosexual? Yet, you voted someone into office who supports such a pro homosexual agenda.

You say you want to protect our children from drugs and other harmful substances? Well, you voted for the legalization of medical Marijuana here in Michigan. How can you be sure that your friends who are growing weed are not growing it to sell to others, even though they say they're growing it for medical purposes?

You say that this man will have a good health care package in place? Not exactly. Everyting about you will be put on a little strip on a universal health card, if Mr. Obamma has his way, and don't think that your life as a disabled person is safe. Maybe not Mr. Obamma. But, some president in the near future, as he will have the building blocks in place, may decide that you're useless to society, thus ask that your life be terminated.

I will pray for you, because in doing this, you have gone against the Bible and against God. I don't know how many of you were dicieved by such a false prophet, and Obamma is that. But, you have defiled my country and my faith. Read the book of Daniel and then tell me how it is you could have willingly done so.